In Wisconsin, Not All Parents Are Equal

In Wisconsin, adoption by same sex couples is not recognised. Gay men and lesbians may adopt, but only as individuals. So when lesbian couple "Liz" and "Wendy" adopted two Guatemalan children, only one of them could be legally recognised. The couple decided that Liz, who went out to work as the breadwinner, would be named as legal parent, while Wendy stayed at home to provide child care. Years later, when the couple split up, Wendy wanted to have her status as parent legally recognised.

Now, she is the one who stayed at home, and provided the bulk of day to day care. In most divorces, judges are more likely to grant child custody to the mother, on the reasonable grounds that she is the one (usually) who has provided greater day to day care, and is likely to have a stronger emotional bond with the kids. Other things being equal, similar reasoning in this case would have led to a preference for custody going to Wendy. Other things though. are not equal in queer families, and an appeals court in Wisconsin has rejected Wendy's claim. Not only does she not get legal custody, in Wisconsin, she has no legal status as parent at all.

The high profile political battles for equality are over marriage equality (and in the US,  DADT, and ENDA). It is important that state by state in the US, and country by country elsewhere, we continue to push also for legal recognition of adoption rights, as single people or as couples.

From Examiner.com:

A Wisconsin appeals court has ruled that despite being a stay at home mom for years a wisconsin woman is not considered a parent to the two adopted children she has been raising for years.

The court ruled that only the woman's former partner is their parent since the adoption was done in her name. Court records only refer to the women as Wendy and Liz. Wendy and Liz had been together for 7 years when they decided to adopt their first child. They adopted a second in 2004. Wendy quit her job to stay at home with the children. Liz was named as their legal parent so the children would be covered under her health care plan. Under Wisconsin law same-sex couple cannot adopt children together.

The couple ended their relationship in 2008 and agreed  to an informal co-parenting agreement. Wendy petitioned for legal guardianship to protect her rights to make legal and medical decisions for the children. After originally agreeing to the guardianship, Liz changed her mind and objected.

Boulder parents: 'They told us in church to love everyone'

In their continuing series on the Boulder school which accepted then turned away the children of lesbian parents, NCR now has the second in a series of four interviews with other parents. In the previous interview, the parents highlighted how the decision in this case contradicted the practice of the school in dealing with other children whose parents were not living in full compliance with Church teaching. In today's interview, the couple interviewed talk about the contradiction between this rejection, and the church's own teaching, and its boasts about diversity. They also point out that the school's reputation in the community will likley suffer, as will its enrolment - and that ironically, a decision which was supposedly taken to avoid having to teach the children about same sex relationships, has instead led to a situation where the children now talk of it constantly.

Here are some extracts. Read the full interview at NCR online:

NCR: Are you members of the parish?

Chris: No, we've been going to St. Thomas Aquinas, [a neighboring parish]. We now have two young children, 13 and under, and they're talking about this and upset with it. The first day our sixth-grade son, Aidan, said, "Dad, they told us in church that we're to love everyone, even gay people. So what's going on?" That was his expression.

Fr. Bill and the archbishop are in this together. They are monolithic and they are calling all the shots. It is my impression that their priority is to enforce their policy, and that it's more important for them to have not only the last word, but the only word. That's more important than children, teachers, parents or anything else.

Cathy: A lot of people want to talk to Archbishop Chaput or send letters. We've been through other situations at the school. You don't get a response. It's pretty much closed. We can't talk about it. It's very secret. Everything is very secret and if you don't like it, they don't really care if you leave.

NCR: Are you implying that you think that this incident is going to cause a change in enrollment?

Cathy: I think it will hurt enrollment. They run ads showing kids of different ethnic backgrounds to show how diverse we are, implying that it's a welcome place for everyone. Yes, I think it is. But now my kids didn't even want to go into Target without putting a jacket over their Sacred Heart uniforms because they are so embarrassed. They are afraid to be seen wearing their uniforms.

NCR: Presumably the second grader has very little understanding of this.

Cathy: They know something. Some at the fourth grade level are aware, particularly if they have older siblings. The excuse the parish used to get rid of the children [of the lesbian couple] is that they would be taught that homosexual or gay marriage is bad. I asked my daughter yesterday who went through the entire nine years there, "Did they ever talk to you about gay marriage at all?" They barely do sex ed. They do girls in a room and boys in a room, and just go over bodily stuff in fifth grade. That's it. They never talked about homosexuality, but now they are all talking about it because of Fr. Bill.