Gay Marriage - In the Army, in Parliament

It's just as well that the US wingnuts don't pay too much attention to developments this side of the Atlantic. These pictures simultaneously celebrate two of their biggest nightmares: gay marriage, in the military!

From The Independent:

One groom wore ceremonial uniform with his Iraq medal, the other morning dress with an orchid. Surrounded by silverware and paintings commemorating great battles, Lance Corporal James Wharton, 23, and his new husband enjoyed their first dance to Tina Turner in the warrant officers' mess of the most prestigious regiment in the land.

The Household Cavalry, famed for escorting the Queen during state occasions and the fact that it counts both her grandsons among its officers, celebrated its first gay wedding in style. L/Cpl Wharton was joined in a civil partnership with his boyfriend, the Virgin air steward Thom McCaffrey, 21, surrounded by members of L/Cpl Wharton's regiment, the Blues and Royals.

Meanwhile, in rather a grand weekend for marriage equality here in the UK, gay government minister Chris Bryant was able to hold his own "marriage" (OK, civil partnership) in the grand setting of the British Houses of Parliament.

Europe Minister Chris Bryant became the first homosexual MP to enter into a civil partnership in the Houses of Parliament yesterday.

The Labour MP for Rhondda, a former Church of England clergyman, tied the knot with his partner Jared Cranney, a company secretary.

The ceremony took place in the Members’ Dining Room, overlooking the Thames, after the Speaker John Bercow gave his permission for it to go ahead.

(Read more: Daily Mail)

Natural Law, Natural Families: Acquiring Manly Virtue

Gay men in the modern Western world are accustomed to accusations a homoerotic orientation is seen as effeminate, sissyish. This is a complete myth, as is easily shown by the many counterexamples from the butch, bear and leather-oriented sub-groups that co-exist with the more camp and drag groups. The words "gay male" cover an astonishing degree of diversity. Still, stereotypes persist. Sometimes, though, they are not what we would expect.

In classical Greece and in Tokugawa Japan, same sex lovers were especially associated with courage and with military prowess. Elsewhere, the important virtues of "courage, proficiency in hunting, and the ability to dominate women" were so closely identified with masculinity that they were routinely passed on to young boys in the most direct way possible - by direct transfer from older males to younger in pure male essence - in semen, by anal or oral sexual intercourse.

This is from David F Greenberg , "The Construction of Homosexuality":

“The homosexual practices are justified by the belief that a boy will not mature physically unless semen is implanted in his body by an adult. Valued male qualities, such as courage, proficiency in hunting, and the ability to dominate women, are transmitted in the same way. Repeated intercourse builds up a supply of the vital substance in the boy’s body.”

But, says Greenberg, intercourse with women is believed to be debilitating. While this pattern of childhood homosexuality is found in a minority of Guinean societies, where it was recorded, it was obligatory for all. From a remarkably early age (sometimes as young as seven, sometimes ten or twelve), boys learnt to accept the all-important semen from an older age group. As they matured, these boys in turn would pass on their own semen to those younger than they. Not until they were fully mature were they permitted intercourse with women – by which time, presumably they were strong enough to withstand the debilitating effects of the experience.

The semen was transmitted in different ways: sometimes by anal intercourse, sometimes orally – or even by insertion into special incisions in the skin. In these cases, the semen was obtained from the older men, following special ritual intercourse with women.

The practice of passing on of manly virtue or other skills by donating semen was not restricted to New Guinea, although it was most widely studied and recorded there. In some Australian aboriginal groups, such as the Bora of the Kimberley region, drinking semen formed a part of intitiation rites. In Brazil, apprentice healers learned their skills from older, experienced healers - and did so by "sexual communication". In parts of northern Morocco, an important skill for young boys was the ability to learn the Koran, but they believed this was impossible until they had first been penetrated. The ability to learn the Koran was passed on to the new generation in the semen of their elders. 

So - who's the sissy, then?

See also:

Gay Soldiers at the Foundation of Democracy

Epimondas: Military Hero, Gay

Gays in the Military: Japan

Books:

Naphy, William: Born to be Gay

Greenberg, David F: The Construction of Homosexuality

Herdt, Gilbert H: Same Sex, Different Cultures

Murray, Stephen O: Homosexualities

Natural Families: Acquiring Manly Virtue

Gay men in the modern Western world are accustomed to accusations a homoerotic orientation is seen as effeminate, sissyish. This is a complete myth, as is easily shown by the many counterexamples from the butch, bear and leather-oriented sub-groups that co-exist with the more camp and drag groups. The words "gay male" cover an astonishing degree of diversity. Still, stereotypes persist. Sometimes, though, they are not what we would expect.

In classical Greece and in Tokugawa Japan, same sex lovers were especially associated with courage and with military prowess. Elsewhere, the important virtues of "courage, proficiency in hunting, and the ability to dominate women" were so closely identified with masculinity that they were routinely passed on to young boys in the most direct way possible - by direct transfer from older males to younger in pure male essence - in semen, by anal or oral sexual intercourse.

This is from David F Greenberg , "The Construction of Homosexuality":

“The homosexual practices are justified by the belief that a boy will not mature physically unless semen is implanted in his body by an adult. Valued male qualities, such as courage, proficiency in hunting, and the ability to dominate women, are transmitted in the same way. Repeated intercourse builds up a supply of the vital substance in the boy’s body.”

But, says Greenberg, intercourse with women is believed to be debilitating.  While this pattern of childhood homosexuality is found in a minority of Guinean societies, where it was recorded, it was obligatory for all.   From a remarkably early age (sometimes as young as seven, sometimes ten or twelve), boys learnt to accept the all-important semen from an older age group.  As they matured, these boys in turn would pass on their own semen to those younger than they.  Not until they were fully mature were they permitted intercourse with women – by which time, presumably they were strong enough to withstand the debilitating effects of the experience.

The semen was transmitted in different ways: sometimes by anal intercourse, sometimes orally – or even by insertion into special incisions in the skin. In these cases, the semen was obtained from the older men, following special ritual intercourse with women.

The practice of passing on of manly virtue or other skills by donating semen was not restricted to New Guinea, although it was most widely studied  and recorded there.

In some Australian aboriginal groups, such as the Bora of the Kimberley region, drinking semen formed a part of intitiation rites.

In Brazil, apprentice healers learned their skills from older, experienced healers - and did so by "sexual communication".

In parts of northern Morocco,  an important skill for young boys was the ability to learn the Koran, but they believed this was impossible until they had first been penetrated. The ability to learn the Koran was passed on to the new generation  in the semen of their elders.

So - who's the sissy, then?

See also:

Gay Soldiers at the Foundation of Democracy

Epimondas: Military Hero, Gay

Gays in the Military: Japan

Books: Naphy, William: Born to be Gay Greenberg, David F: The Construction of Homosexuality Herdt, Gilbert H: Same Sex, Different Cultures Murray, Stephen O: Homosexualities

Natural Law, Natural Families

When I first put down some thoughts on sexual ethics here and at "The Open Tabernacle", it was quite specifically intended as simply a collection of principles that I have put together for myself, rather than any reasoned and coherent system of ethics.  Later, I referred rather off-handedly to the church, which developed its own teaching without any reference to   empirical data from external reality.

For this I was criticized by a reader, who pointed out reasonably enough that I too had presented no empirical data.  He went on to refer to the finding so Kinsey and biology as proof that “nature”, by hot wiring a direct connection between the genitals and the pleasure centres of the brain, predisposes and directs our sexual energies to reproduction.  As this is a variant of the “natural law”  basis for so much of traditional Catholic teaching on sex, I thought I would share with you some of the evidence, the “empirical data”, that directly contradicts the conclusion above.

As I explored the evidence though, I soon realised that there is so much of it, in such startlingly diverse abundance, that it would be impossible to cover the topic properly in just a single post.  Instead, I will tackle it in a series, looking at it from several different perspectives.  By way of preview, these are just some of the headings I propose to tackle first:

• The contradictions in the concept of “natural law” as used in Christian theology, and the factual errors about animal biology that underlie it.
• The abundant evidence for homosexuality in traditional African societies from the Stone Age onwards, which flatly contradicts the claims that it was foreign to Africa and introduced by the Western colonisers – or by the Arabs,
• The institution of compulsory homosexual practices for boys, as a means of acquiring many virtues.
• The widespread recognition of homosexual orientation in individuals as a spiritual gift
• The common practice of sustaining homosexual relationships in parallel with heterosexual marriages
• Examples from the animal world
• The Middle Eastern context of the biblical world
• China, Japan and Korea
• Pre-modern Europe

I do not have any rigid structuring principle for the order in which I shall tackle these, but will probably do so roughly inversely to their familiarity – starting with the least well known, so the first two should  be on African homosexuality,  and on same sex experience as part of acquiring virility.

Anybody have special preferences?

See also:

"Traditional" Family Values

Naphy, William: Born to be Gay

Greenberg, David F: The Construction of Homosexuality

Herdt, Gilbert H: Same Sex, Different Cultures

Murray, Stephen O: Homosexualities

"Traditional" Family Values?

This is fun!

From the great state of South Carolina, we were diverted some months ago by the fascinating tale of how one can now go "hiking the Appalachian trail" in Argentina.  Now, in quick succession, it appears that there are two more emerging stories of interest:  Mike Rogers reports that rumours about the sexual orientation of a certain Lieutenant - Governor, which have been doing the rounds long enough that even I, on this side of the Atlantic have heard them before, have been "confirmed" (but instead of evidence, Rogers simply points to his "100% track record" on previous outings). Also,  from FitsNews.com ("unfair; unbalanced". the site proudly proclaims), we have:

"S.C. Gov. Mark Sanford may be an amateur Romeo, but it looks like he’s got nothing on his appointment to the S.C. State Board of Education.

Kristin Maguire, an Upstate evangelical and one of South Carolina’s most respected social conservatives, has been one of the governor’s closest education policy advisors for years.  She’s also Sanford’s appointment to the S.C. Board of Education, which last year elected her its Chairwoman.

What else is she?

The prolific author of hardcore erotic fiction on the Internet, according to documents provided to the governor’s office earlier this summer and later obtained by FITS.

Maguire, a professed Christian who home-schools her four children, declined to comment for our story but did not deny that she had previously frequented websites that feature such X-rated material."

Ah, that grand tradition of  "defending traditional family values",  as espoused so fervently by Larry Craig, Congressmen Vitter & Foley, preacher Ted Haggert ...and all the others whose names I have forgotten and am too lazy right now to look up.  You know them better than I do.

In any case, pointing out the hypocrisy is too easy.  There are two other points behind this that deserve closer attention, because they are less frequently pointed out.

Outing the Church

First, I applaud Mike Rogers for his commendable work on outing the political hypocrites.  (For the record, I am a "fierce defender" of any individual's rigut to privacy.  While I strongly endorse the personal and community value of coming out wherever possible,  that final qualification is crucial:  sometimes it is just not possible).  BUT:  when some closeted queer goes on the attack aginst the community, all rights to sympathy are waived.  This is a position which I believe is fairly widely shared.  So when are the professional ecclesiastical  journalists, in the Vatican or around the world, going to start to follow suit?

It is widely reported that a large and growing proportion of priests, at all levels in the hierarchy, are gay.  Others are heterosexual, but non-celibate.  Professional Vatican watchers, it is said, know not only who many of these people are, but also their partners and preferred sexual practices.  As with politicians, I would prefer that they should have the courage to come out publicly, difficult as this would be, but where they choose not to, we must respect their privacy. But as with politicians, where they actively connive in the church's demonization of "homosexuals"  and other sexual minorities, they should lose that right to provacy.  There have been plenty of reports of gay bishops and cardinals emerging after their deaths, or after nasty blackmail scandals - so why not when they are alive?

It is also often said that tthe pope's balls are one of the three most useless things in the world.  So.........come on, you professional clerical journalists:  are your cojones any more useful than His Holiness's ?

"Traditional family":  a modern invention

Raymond and I had a wonderful day today enjoying  the English landscape, driving around Jane Austen's beloved Hampshire. I got to see Jane 's house where she spent the last ten years of her life, as well as the nearby Gilbert White's House.  Jane Austen is well known as the most popular English novelist, totally respectable and a model of gentility and propriety.  Gilbert White is less well known, but equally respectable.  He was a clergyman, renowned as a naturalist for his careful observations and detailed notes on natural history and gardening.  Guess what?  Neither of these models of English respectablity lived in "traditional" family structures.  During her years at Chawton, Jane and her similarly unmarried sister Clarissa lived with their widowed mother - and a friend, who lived with them, but occupied a bedroom a little apart.  Jane's brother Thomas had earlier left the family - because he had the good fortune to have been "adopted" by a wealthy childless couple, the Knights, who felt in need of an heir to take charge of their large estate.   The Rev White was unmarried - but does not appear to have lived alone in his large, rambling house and extensive garden.

Nor did many people at this time (late 18th and early 19th centuries), or earlier, live in "traditional"  family structures.  If you were rich enough, you might get to live with your family in a grand country house  - but also with the extensive staff required to run it.  Tradesmen and working professionals shared their homes with apprentices and servants. Conversely, if you were not rich enough, you probably left your family to live with your employer (if you had one), as an apprentice,  in domestic service, or as a farm labourer, or travelled the country as an itinerant tradesman.  And if a man was lucky enough to live with his woman and children, perhaps in a farm cottage - it was entirely possible that they were not married at all:  marriage was largely a legal matter of settling property, of little practical value or religious importance if there was no property to settle. (Marriage was not required, nor treated as a sacrament by the church, for many centuries),

Biblical Times.

After returning home, I began reading the introduction to Bernadette Brooten's "Love Between Women".  Just in theopening chapter, I came acros numerous references to same-sex marriages in the classical period - in Rome, in Sparta, in Canaan, in Egypt and elsewhere.  It is well known that family structures of the Hebrew Bible hardly conformed to the "traditional" family we keep hearing about, with all-powerful men holding absolute power over the women, children and slaves of the household, with multiple wives and concubines, arranged marriages and extended families living together.  In the Christian New Testament, I can't off the top of my head think of a single instance of a "traditional" family unit.  Certainly not Christ's own biological family, nor His later family of choice, nor the household of Martha, Mary and Lazarus, nor those of the apostles, who were urged to leave their families behind, nor the Roman centurion and his "paidion" (or male slave, commonly used for sexual purposes).

No, wait: there is one, if you ignore the palace staff.  The family of Herod, Herodias and Salome lived together as Daddy, Mummy and daughter.

So which of these do you suppose is referred to by "traditional family" values?

Gay Parents: Recommended.

My regular readers will now that gay adoption rights are a personal, touchy area for me.  As a father and grandfather myself, I am acutely conscious that what matters to a child is not the status or orientation of the parent, but the depth of love and the quality of the care.  My daughter Robynn has gone on record in stating , on the first occasion, that her experience when living with my partner and myself gave her a more stable emotional environment, and better examples in moral standards, than she saw given to her classmates from more "conventional" backgrounds.  Later, she made it clear in a post here at QTC, that we should listen to the voices and experiences of children themselves who have grown up in gay - headed households, before making judgements.  Giving her own verdict, she concluded: "Gay parents? I recommend them".

The issue of gay adoption tends to get less press than same sex marriage, but in many ways has greater importance for long term progress to gay equality and inclusion.  Here in the UK , gay adoption is fully accepted in law, but a Catholic adoption agency has just won an important court appeal, granting it exemption from  the statutory requirement of equal treatment for all candidate parents. This is a topic I am not yet ready to discuss properly, but will do at some stage.  In the US, the situation varies by state, but in only one state, Florida, is there an outright legal ban.  There is no sign of this ban being lifted by legislative process any time soon, but meanwhile there have been a string of favourable court decisions, with an important court ruling due any day now. In the meantime, here is another personal story of one child  who would clearly agree with Robynn, and recommend gay parents.  In his case, he voted with his feet, and actively left his one-mother-one-father version family for a gay single father - and in the process made a huge improvement in his life:

From Palm Beach Post:

Grade-A gay 'parent' saved a child from two-parent straight home

James was a bright boy with a dark future looming when he made a decision to change his destiny.He traded his two-parent home in the Midwest for a single-parent abode in Florida. At 12, he discerned that his odds of success were better if his uncle raised him. His mother has abused drugs for most of his life. His father simply enables her. And, far too often, James has been the primary caretaker of his younger siblings. He wanted better. So last June, he headed south with his mother's brother — my cousin. "I want," he told me, "a better life for myself." He got one. His uncle, Benn Setfrey, is an educator who has seen firsthand the results of inept parenting. He wanted to make a difference in his nephew's life by doing it the right way. He also is gay. He chose the pen name Setfrey when he wrote a book on homophobia because, in doing so, he felt set free. But in Florida, the only state that denies gays the right to adopt, he's not truly free. (They can't marry either, but that's a subject for another time.) James had a 0.5 grade-point average when he arrived at Mr. Setfrey's home. After a few months, he had a 3.5. In an essay titled "The Fresh Prince of Hallandale Beach," James credited his uncle. "He told me I have to de-program and re-program my brain, and it worked," James wrote. "It also took love, sweat and tears. I have a great life in Florida."

(Read More)

Now, from my experience working as a market research analyst, I know very well that one cannot draw firm conclusions from samples of one, or of two, although they can offer a degree of what the marketers call "insight". But we don;t have to depend on personal anecdotes: there is an abundance of research evidence which shows that same -sex parents are as good as any others at parenting, and in some cases, may even be better. I have reported on some of this before. Now there is a new study, which presents the same finding, from a slightly different perspective. This is from Psychology Today:

Does the gender of parents really matter?

The assumption that children need both a mother and a father is widespread. It has been used by proponents of Proposition 8 to argue against same-sex marriage and to uphold a ban on same-sex adoption. In 2006, the New York Court of Appeals, ruling against same-sex marriage, found that ‘‘the Legislature could rationally believe that it is better, other things being equal, for children to grow up with both a mother and a father. Intuition and experience suggest that a child benefits from having before his or her eyes, every day, living models of what both a man and a woman are like'' (Justice Robert Smith in Hernandez v. Robles, 2006). To what extent do these rational beliefs, intuition, and experience match the findings from scientific studies?

This is the question addressed by the lead article in the February issue of Journal of Marriage and Family. Extending their prior work on gender and family, Dr. Biblarz and Dr. Stacey of New York University, analyzed relevant studies about parenting, including available research on single-mother and single-father households, gay male parents and lesbian parents. Their review included 30 studies that compared two-parent lesbian couples to heterosexual coparents, 1 compared gay male to heterosexual coparents, and 2 compared lesbian to gay male coparents. They also reviewed 48 studies of single male or female parents.

In their analysis, the researchers found no evidence of gender-based parenting abilities, with the "exception of lactation," noting that very little about the gender of the parent has significance for children's psychological adjustment and social success. They found there are far more similarities than differences among children of lesbian and heterosexual parents. On average, two mothers tended to play with their children more, were less likely to use physical discipline, and were less likely to raise children with chauvinistic attitudes. Studies of gay male families are still limited.

As the researchers write: "The social science research that is routinely cited does not actually speak to the questions of whether or not children need both a mother and a father at home. Instead proponents generally cite research that compares [heterosexual two-parent] families with single parents, thus conflating the number with the gender of parents." So the Court of Appeals was right in saying that children benefit in some ways from the resources that come from having two parents, but their intuition was wrong in believing that those parents had to be of different sexes. Hopefully the California court that is currently considering Prop 8 will follow in the footsteps of the Iowa Supreme Court in relying on scientific reason over intuition.

(Read More)

Now, there's a thought:  using reason and evidence  instead of mere intuition and prejudice when taking decisions on these important family matters!  Wouldn't if be good, too if the Catholic Church could follow the same principle?  Oh, for some reality-based theology!

Irish Bishops' Humpty Dumpty Language

"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said in a rather a scornful tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean – neither more nor less." "The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many different things." "The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master – that's all." Alice was too much puzzled to say anything, so after a minute Humpty Dumpty began again. "They've a temper, some of them – particularly verbs, they're the proudest – adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs – however, I can manage the whole lot! Impenetrability! That's what I say!"

Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"

In Ireland, the Catholic bishops are concerned about the imminent passing of legislation to allow civil partnerships.  In voicing their opposition, they are using an argument used before in Washingto DC, and in Boulder Colorado, to restrict the religious freedom of gay and lesbian Catholics. This time, though, the application of the argument is so breathtaking it would do Humpty Dumpty proud:

In a statement, Why Marriage Matters, released by the bishops yesterday, they describe provisions in the Civil Partnership Bill as “an extraordinary and far-reaching attack on freedom of conscience and the free practices of religion – which are guaranteed to every citizen under the Constitution”.

Irish Times

Now correct me if I am wrong, but I thought that freedom of religion and of conscience meant allowing those who disagree with you, to act in accordance with their own conscience, and not force them to comply with your own.  The proposed bill is about civil partnerships, not religious marriage, and imply no obligations whatever on the actions or religious beliefs of anyone who does not wish to participate.  I would have thought that permitting civil partnerships for those who disagree with the Church's teaching on same sex marriage was a way of implementing, not restricting religious freedom.

But then, I use words as Alice does - not as Humpty Dumpty does.